September 26, 2012

Day 4: Calculus

A celebratory dinner out, to congratulate Matt on the new, long-awaited job.  It's nice that someone else cooked for us, because we are all a little frazzled in spite of getting a bit more sleep last night.  There is rest in sight, but probably not in the next six weeks or so.  Em said she noticed that I do have to work a lot, and said, "Can you maybe ease off on all the Mama work you do, so we have more time to snuggle?"  I shamelessly took advantage of the request to remind her that I am always happy to have help with housework, and that I would use the extra time to spend with her.  We'll see what happens tomorrow.

As of tonight we have a much clearer picture of how the finances will work (though still no place to live.  I hear the streets are lovely there.... No, really, Matt has a flight booked next week to go scouting and put in rental application(s) as needed.  Don't worry, I'm not going all Stepford wife; he has a list of my requirements and a phone with a camera in it. :-) )  So, now we can get serious about what actual stuff we want to take, and we have an idea what we can and can't afford to replace.  Thus begins the delicate calculus of, is it worth it?  Do I love it?  Do I need it?  How long can I live without something like it, knowing that we might not be able to replace it right away?

In one way, I welcome this, since--starting approximately when the allergist's nurse said, "Wow, well, there's one spot that's really clear!  The doctor has to say it officially, but you are REALLY allergic to dust!"--I have become quite a bit more of a minimalist.  I like cozy, but clutter breeds dust.  And the more stuff we have, the more dusting must be done.  On the other hand, chucking our stuffs into the middle of a room is also not dust-free!  It's a delicate, dusty balancing act.  There is a certain soothing-ness to a streamlined space, too, as long as it has some color (!) to it.  And of course, I know that it is all just things. Things are not, so very not, what matter.

In another way, this is just irritating and picking at the giant Scab of Separation in my psyche.  I'm already (trying to) let go of a place.  Letting go of things as well... just adds to the burden.  And let's face it, I prefer to stay tightly wound.  If I let go too much, who knows what else I will let go of?  Being organized? Being strong?  Being someone who commits to things, and stays committed?  It's a dangerous slope.

In celebration of the (anticipated) clearing away, today's picture is of our lovely, refurbished laundry room.  Yes, that is an entire closet and two enormous cupboards,carefully painted in enamel and then shelf-papered by yours truly. As laundry areas go, this one does actually rock (if you framed in a door, you could have someone sleep there; this is only one half of the space.)  And the floor looks SO much better now that it's painted.  Worlds. The super-washer, however, is traveling with us.

1 comment:

Pati13 said...

I love keeping up with your family each day, Ginger. Having moved many times in our lives, I can definitely sympathize -- especially having to leave a paradise like Oregon. However, you will have your daughters and husband with you and that is all that really matters. Best of luck and thinking about you and youros.