September 24, 2012

Day 1: We're Moving Where?

So, I don't want to move.  I never want to move.  I moved as a child.  I mean, I wasn't a "military brat," but I had to move a few times, and then as a teenager, even more times.  Some of them were traumatic.  None of them were fun.  Unsurprisingly, moving as an adult (while more in my control) was also really not that much fun; I have an ordered mind if not an ordered desk, and violently dislike upheavals. So when we moved to this house, we said, "We want our next move to be into the retirement home."  And we meant it!  Unfortunately, we followed it with, "Well, unless we need to move for a job or something."

It's the qualifiers that get you in life. Every time.

As it turns out, Matt has FINALLY landed the job that he wants as a union consultant.  He's put in thousands of hours of training and learning and internship and volunteering, over and above the time he's spent as a union officer and representative.  He started the process of looking for this job at least two and a half years ago, and it's fabulous that he has, at last, an opportunity to do that job.  He'll be great at it (being in charge of negotiations/arguments and then smoothing the waters so people can work together again after it's over? As the family joke goes, HE'S AN IRISH LIBRA.  He was MADE for this work.)

So it's all happiness and fuzzies that he has the job.  Yay!

It's in Utah.

What?  Where?

Ogden, Utah.  It's not the ends of the earth, or anything.  It's just a long way away from anything we four--native Oregonians, one and all. Even the cat is from Oregon.  That's five.--have ever known.  Okay, Matt's been to Salt Lake City (and now Ogden, for his interview! Hah.)  But none of us has spent much time on the dry side of Oregon, even, and the children have not even ever BEEN on the other side of the Cascades.

So it's a change.

Change is scary.

I am terrified.

When you're a foster child, you are a little rootless.  It's hard to know, when you leave, if you can come back.  Can you come back to visit? Sure, okay, things ended all nice. Can you come back to live there, though, if you needed to, like everyone with regular parents can?  Unknown.  (Now I know, and I'm pretty sure I could have if I had needed to. But I wasn't sure then, and that's what leaves the marks.)  So, moving to the house we're in now meant roots.  My name was on all the paperwork--this is MY house, in more ways than just where my mail shows up.  That's a lovely strong taproot, and it's had eleven years to grow deep and drink up the permanence.  Transplanting is always tricky with such roots, and requires infinite care to prevent damage.

On the other hand: the children are excited.  I explained how Utah has the highest birthrate in the nation, and there are, therefore, a) a ton of kids there (ample friending opportunities await) and b) really a lot of kid-oriented fun things to do there.  Even the ordinarily-grumpy child is looking forward to this. They'll miss the friends they have here, but perhaps the recent near-miss moves (Matt has had two other interviews, in two other states, lately) have helped them come to terms with that.  (Penpals, anyone?)

And of course, Matt is excited and will be even more happy when we are done moving, which he also hates.

Here we go.


Bethany said...

I am excited for your family that you have this chance. And 11 years in the house! (I was going to comment on how long that is, until I realized that we're at 9 years here. Unfortunately our equity doesn't reflect that at all . . .)

Miss T adores getting mail and loves making mail too if the girls want a pen pal.

Anonymous said...

Moving is tough, but you TOO will make new friends... and grow new roots.

Utah is beautiful. Tons of stuff to do... maybe dry will be good for you too??

Sending happy thoughts your way. Try to enjoy the unknown as much as you can. There's good in just about everything. -Denise

Alice-Anne said...

I am not good with change so I feel for you! Did I not know you were a foster child? wow. Anyways, I am thrilled that you will be in the state! (Regarding my ho-humming before about living in Utah: just ignore that.It really is a great place on many levels.)And I laughed out loud about the high birthrate=friends! Ogden is were we spent most of our "staycation" because there are a lot of fun/kid-friendly things to do. (I even read it was #1 city for family that beats Anaheim, I don't know.) Anyways, that's so great that Matt can finally get paid for what he was "born" to do! And you can still take me up on helping you unpack. Let me know when you arrive! Good luck, Ginger, as you pack and pack and say goodbyes.

Ginger Ogle said...

Thanks, Bethany! I will make a collection of possible penpals, and send you our address when we have one. :-)

Ginger Ogle said...

Thanks, Denise--I know I'll find things that are good. I already am. I'm an optimist. At the same time, goodbye is really, really hard for me. I'm not sad to be going there...I'm sad to not be HERE. And it's a big sad, or I wouldn't be writing it for the world to see; I'm not usually that emo. But writing, writing is helping. :-)

Ginger Ogle said...

Could be it never came up; I'm not big on soul-baring histories, especially to KIDS, you young'un, you. ;-) My brother and I moved out shortly after my 16th birthday. Thanks for the well-wishes, and just knowing there's a familiar friendly face nearby is helping a TON. I'm excited to meet your family!

Marcy Berg said...

I was the military "brat" who moved a lot in my childhood and then due to school, life, etc. moved a lot in my 20s. I understand how hard it is to move and feel as if your roots are being pulled up yet again. Besides remembering that you are taking the most important things with you (Matt and the kids), can I suggest something? (Please remember that sometimes free advice is worth it's price.)

Take one box and fill it with some of your favorite family photos, special knick-knacks, the special quilt from the couch, etc. Your first day in your new home will be hectic, but you can pull out some of the things that represent home to you.

It will still take time, but besides being comforting for the kids, it will be very comforting to you.

Ginger Ogle said...

Thanks, Marcy, it is good advice. Now I'll have to think about what means home for me! Ironically, nothing leaps to mind...