October 31, 2007

A Tailor's Top Ten

Top Ten Things I Learned As Tailor to the Stars:

10. If a television character clearly has gloves (individual fingers) and not mittens (the whole hand), the costume here must have gloves. Mittens will result in a complete malfunction of the Star, and possibly a Supernova.

9. Gloves are a pain in the a$$ to sew, especially when tailored to a Star who wears a size 4T.

8. "Minky" fake fur gloves are even more difficult.

7. Big Googley Eyes are V E R Y important. Even more important than gloves.

6. If one child's--er, Star's--costume has Big Googley Eyes, the other child--oh, the heck with it--must also have them. Even if that Star's character does not, in television actuality, have Eyes that are Googley. Verisimilitude takes a back seat to sibling rivalry any day.

5. At least one Star will cry when taking a costume for a test-drive for fitting purposes, "I don't LIKE it! Take it OFF!" At moments like that, I am so not a nurturing Mommylove: "Tough. This is what you picked, and you can't change now. Try to remember that It Is Not Done Yet." (Matt sniffled a little but went away quietly....)

4. Nordic fleece does not ravel (no, this one isn't funny, but a useful fact to file away. It's true: you could rub that stuff with sandpaper, and it still won't shred. Saves a lot of time when making seams.)

3. No matter how many times it is explained to her that December in our country contains no dress-up holidays, one Star still says, "I want to be a Ballerina for Christmas."

2. No Star who has studied under Yoda the Great can wear a costume--and I'm quoting, here--that is "Lame." (Apparently, the Force will not flow, or whatever, under those conditions.)

And the number one things I've learned as Tailor to the Stars:
I am absolutely certain that the Tailor cares more about how the costumes came out than any of the Stars do. It could be that I need to get a life.

Hope you have a great Hallowe'en!

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