November 9, 2006

Unsolved Mysteries of Motherhood

{Blogger seems to be having heart attacks the last few days, so,
apologies if this shows up more than once....I'll fix it eventually if
that happens.}

~Why is there *always* enough laundry to make a full load? Even when
I've just finished doing all the laundry? I swear, it multiplies much,
much quicker than rabbits.

~How can it possibly take me an hour, some mornings, to consume one
medium-sized bowl of oatmeal for breakfast? (Believe me, it is not
because I chew so slowly. I think it has to do with...children.)

~How does Emily know when Laura is sick, and thus, even when she is
tired, behave as well as she possibly can? (If knowing the answer
would break the spell, forget it. Let's leave this one unsolved!)

~Why doesn't this happen in reverse, with Laura being good when Emily's
sick? Wouldn't that make for a more just Universe??

~How many different "bonks" can one small toddler head take in one day
without causing a concussion? Can concussions be cumulative?

~Why do children resist trying things they will absolutely like? I'm
not talking about Brussels Sprouts here....I'm talking about food and
clothing. I can't tell you how many times in the last year I have
said, "Just one bite. If you don't like it, you don't have to have
aaaaany more." (She finally succumbs). I say, "Is that good?" She:
"Yeah." Me: "Do you want more?" She: "YEAH!" Or, "Look, this is soft
and pretty and warm." She: Fuss, cry, "No, no, no, Mama, *don't*, I
don't *like* it!" Me: "Go look in the mirror." She: "Oooh, Mama,
that's pretty. I *like* this!" Is this some sort of cosmic obstacle
course one must run to prove one's worthiness? Surely, surely I have
shown my patience adequately; can I be done now? There's really
nothing wrong with living entirely on whole-wheat raisin bagels,
vanilla yogurt, and applesauce, right? Or wearing sleeveless
sundresses when it's 40 degrees out?

1 comment:

Tami said...

*evil laugh* Muwaaahahaaaa...Welcome to the threes! Aren't they lovely? Wait until the fabulous fours. Uh-huh.

Maybe to get her to put on clothes, you should have a stranger bring them into the house in giant bags, interspersed with new toys and books. ;)