September 12, 2005

Got Milk?

Last night, Emily had an unusually extended, intense round of her usual evening crying time. It was probably something I ate at the church picnic. After that, though, she slept through the night. I don't mean the "medical definition" of five hours (and who came up with THAT stupid rule, anyway? Five hours is NOT a full night's sleep! Maybe doctors needs to get a *leetle* more rest...). No, she slept from 9:45, when the screaming stopped, until 6 A.M. Bliss! But...

The breasts are wonderful things. In addition to titillating men, they serve a useful nutritive function. However, just like cows' udders, the "working girls" (that's how I think of 'em) tend to get on a schedule. They're used to being emptied on a regular basis, including at night. So they're used to Emily waking up at night. Since she didn't, I was pretty desperate to be "milked" ("de-milked" would really be more accurate!) when she finally did wake up. But she wasn't all that hungry this morning (of course!), so the job didn't get done. I can do many things with a baby in my arms, but using a breast pump is not one of them, and Emily definitely was an in-arms baby today. She would fuss and cry when put down, so I'd pick her up, thinking, "Oh, at last, my relief is near!"

And then she would fall asleep without eating much if anything. So I suffered until around mid-afternoon, when both w.g. were *finally* fully emptied and feeling normal again. Aaaaaahhhhhhh....

And while we're on the subject, a word about size. Let's just say that before bearing children, I didn't know they *made* bras in this size (I am not a C, nor a D...we'll just leave it at that!) When I'm done with these bras (and can again walk upright!), they could probably be used as hot-tub covers. While it's sort of fun to be of actual epic proportions--especially until my tummy shrinks back a bit more; it's nice to have something sticking out further than it!--they frighten me. What if they decide they don't like the government of my body? They could revolt, and it would be like Texas and Alaska leaving for greener pastures.

I feel for my babies, too. What must it be like, to be a small little tug boat, docking with this massive battleship? They are each bigger than Emily's head, still. Perhaps that is why I've never been good at being extremely discreet; not only have neither of my children been consistent about eating, they've also both turned out to be messy--Emily likes to have her face covered in milk before she decides to settle down to eating, and even then I'm often saying, "Emily, you have to *open your mouth* in order to eat"; Laura's favorite thing was to really attack, get the milk flowing, and then detach and pause for thought two or three times. And, of course, the sheer size involved means that I usually have to smoosh myself out of the way of Emily's little nose. Otherwise, all you hear is this soft whistle, followed by a gulp, followed by a snork--no air!, followed by a big gasp. And there is more milk everywhere, as the baby backs away to breathe. As one of our friend says, "I'd have to have four hands to be discreet." I'm not sure that would be enough for me! And even if I could manage it, there'd be milk everywhere on my clothes, so I'd be having my own private wet T-shirt contest.

All that said, I'm glad to do it, and glad I've "Got Milk." It's all part of the adventure of parenthood, and fortunately, it usually makes me laugh. Especially when they're empty and the *baby* is full.

3 comments:

Tami said...

Ahahahaaaa! I have totally been there!!!!! Sorry for the abuse of apostrophes but, well, I know you know what I mean and sometimes words just don't suffice. It's an amazing thing, breastfeeding....the gold standard of infant feeding and a total sacrifice and labor of love on mom's part when in the context of societal standards.

Anyway, are you sure Emily doesn't have an ear infection? My kids were both plagued with them from the very start and that lack of eating and fussiness was usually the tip-off. Just throwing out an idea...

KUTGW mama!

Ginger Ogle said...

Thanks for the idea; I'll ask the doc next week at her checkup. I doubt it, however, since she she 'most always does end up eating; usually it becomes apparent that she was preparing to pooooooop or something before she settled in (but that doesn't stop her from asking; I guess she likes to give the kitchen plenty of time to prepare her entree, or something. ;-)

Tami said...

aha *snort* apostrophes.....guess who's been working tooo tooo too much lately. that would be exclamation points, there. ugh. i need some sleep.